Think about the last time someone really listened to you. They did not check their phone. They did not jump in with a quick fix. They asked one more question, and you found yourself saying something you had not planned to say. You probably remember that conversation better than most sermons you have heard.
Most of us want to be heard, and few of us are good at listening. In a church, the gap shows quickly. A new member stops coming, and no one knew she was struggling. A volunteer quits after a meeting where he tried three times to raise a concern. A leader is surprised by a problem that people had been describing for months.
Today’s teaching
James does not treat listening as a personality trait. He puts it first in a short list for every believer, ahead of speaking and ahead of anger. Unity in a church is built in small moments, when someone stops defending a point of view and starts paying attention to another person’s heart. Today’s work is simple and hard: listen first.
In context, James first means listening to God’s word (James 1:21–22). People who listen to God learn to listen to others.
On the road to Emmaus, two disciples were walking away from Jerusalem, heartbroken after the crucifixion. The risen Jesus joined them, but they did not recognize Him. He could have announced Himself at once. Instead He asked what they were talking about as they walked. Then He let them tell the whole story: their hopes, their confusion, and their disappointment.
Only after He had heard them did He open the Scriptures to them. Jesus already knew everything they were going to say, and He still listened first.
In the church
People who lead well under pressure know that if they will not listen, they cannot lead. If the people in your group, your ministry, or your family do not feel safe telling you the truth, you cannot help them grow. A listening leader makes honesty possible, and honesty is where real repentance and change begin.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Quick to listen” pictures someone eager to understand. “Slow to speak” and “slow to become angry” belong together, because people who answer too fast often answer from their own irritation. The next verse gives the reason: human anger does not produce the righteousness God wants (James 1:20).
A further biblical connection
The apostles had to learn this. When the Greek-speaking widows in Jerusalem were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food, the complaint reached the Twelve, and they listened. They did not dismiss it as grumbling. They called the believers together and gave the problem to trusted people who could fix it (Acts 6:1–6).
Practice further
Ask one person you lead or serve with, “How can I listen to you better?” Write down what they say without explaining or defending yourself. Treat it as God’s training for your leadership.
Talk it over
Who in your family, small group, or ministry does not feel heard by you right now?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think of the last meeting or meal you were part of. Who spoke least?
Who has tried to tell you something more than once lately?
On the Emmaus road Jesus asked a question and let them talk. Who needs that from you this week?
One way someone answered
My teenage son. He starts to tell me things and I finish his sentences or fix the problem before he is done. He has stopped starting. Jesus let the two disciples tell the whole story before he said anything. I want to ask my son one question tonight and then stay quiet.
For your team: Who in our church or team has been trying to tell us something we have not heard?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Who in your family, small group, or ministry does not feel heard by you right now?
One action
In your next important conversation, let the other person finish. Ask one follow-up question, such as “Help me understand why you feel that way,” before sharing your view.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If no conversation like that comes today, practice on whoever speaks to you next. Let them finish. One follow-up question is enough.
If no conversation like that comes today, practice with the next person who speaks to you.
One prayer
Lord, You hear me before I have finished speaking. Help me hear what You hear in the people around me, and slow my answers down enough to love them well.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Some sentences stay with you for years. A teacher told you that you were good at something, and you believed her. A parent said something careless at dinner, and you can still hear it. Words are small, and they carry weight.
Your words shape life at home and in your church. Complaints, gossip, and sarcasm can spread through a group. So can encouragement and a clear, loving word at the right time.
Today’s teaching
Paul does not ask you to talk less. He asks you to talk on purpose. Good words fit the need of the person in front of you, and they leave that person with more grace than they had before. When Peter preached at Pentecost, his hearers were cut to the heart and asked, “What shall we do?” (Acts 2:37). Words given by the Spirit can move people toward God.
Paul’s next words are “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God” (Ephesians 4:30). Careless words grieve Him. Words that build are part of walking with Him.
Zacchaeus was a chief tax collector in Jericho, rich and disliked. He climbed a tree to see Jesus over the crowd. Jesus stopped, looked up, and called him by name: “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” The crowd muttered that Jesus was going to be the guest of a sinner.
Jesus spoke few words, and they were words of welcome, spoken before Zacchaeus had changed anything. Zacchaeus promised to give half of what he owned to the poor and to repay four times over anyone he had cheated. Jesus said, “Today salvation has come to this house,” and explained that He had come to seek and save the lost.
In the church
Church leaders use words to encourage people, address harm, and help them follow Christ. They also need to recognize when someone needs to be heard.
Encouragement can include a hard truth, spoken plainly and kindly. Before you speak, consider whether your words will help this person follow Jesus and care for the people around them.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Rotten” translates a word used for a rotten tree and its fruit, and for fish too bad to keep (Matthew 12:33; 13:48). It covers sarcasm, gossip, and contempt. “according to their needs” turns speech into a kind of ministry, fitted to the listener.
Practice further
Before your next meeting or Bible study, write one clear sentence you believe God wants everyone to take away. Pray over it. Let it shape what you say, and what you choose not to say.
Talk it over
Where have your words weakened unity lately, through complaining, gossip, or careless talk?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think about your last three conversations about other people. Were those people in the room?
Which comes easiest to you: complaining, a sharp joke, or passing on something you heard?
Jesus spoke words of welcome to Zacchaeus before anything changed. Who in your group has only heard from you what they still lack?
One way someone answered
After our planning meeting I walked to the car with a friend and we picked apart the new leader for ten minutes. It felt like venting. It was gossip. Nothing I said would have built her up if she had heard it. Jesus called Zacchaeus by name before Zacchaeus did anything. I want to say one true, kind thing to her this week.
For your team: What shapes our team’s culture most: encouragement, complaint, or sarcasm?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where have your words weakened unity lately, through complaining, gossip, or careless talk?
One action
Choose one person today, someone you lead or serve with, and give them specific encouragement rooted in Scripture. Tell them what you see Christ doing in them, not only what they still lack.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If you will not see the person today, a message or a card counts. Keep it specific, and name what you see Christ doing in them.
If you will not see them today, write it in a message or a card.
One prayer
Lord Jesus, You spoke words full of grace and truth. Set a guard over my mouth, and use my words today to build someone up.
All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
Pride is not always loud. Sometimes it looks like never asking for help, never admitting a mistake, or quietly needing to be the one who knows. Humble people invite challenge, share responsibility, and admit sin quickly, and that makes it possible for others to grow around them.
Today’s teaching
Peter knew both sides of this verse. Pride led him to boast that he would never fall away, and then to deny Jesus three times on the worst night of Jesus’ life. Humility brought him back. After the resurrection, Jesus restored him, and Peter spent the rest of his life preaching, shepherding, and in the end suffering for the church.
So when Peter tells the church to clothe itself with humility, he is not handing out advice he never needed. He is writing from experience.
Just before this, Peter tells the elders to lead like shepherds, not bosses: willingly, not for gain, and by example (1 Peter 5:2–3).
On the night before He died, Jesus got up from supper, took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. Then He washed His disciples’ feet, a job for the lowest servant in a house. Peter objected. Jesus told him that unless He washed him, Peter had no part with Him.
When He had finished, Jesus said He had given them an example: they also should wash one another’s feet. The one with the most authority in the room took the lowest place.
In the church
In any ministry, pride blocks growth. Proud leaders can gather a crowd, but they rarely raise up other leaders, because they are too busy protecting their place.
Humility begins with an honest account of yourself: what you know, where you need help, and whom you have overlooked. Accepting correction gives you room to learn and gives others room to contribute.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Clothe yourselves” uses a word for tying on a garment, like the apron a servant wore for work. Humility is something you choose to put on, every day. “in due time” warns against grabbing honor before God gives it.
Practice further
Pray slowly through 1 Peter 5:5–7. Ask God to show you one step of humility to take this week: confessing a sin, repairing a relationship, or asking for someone’s input. Write it down before you move on.
Talk it over
Where is pride keeping you from asking for help or admitting a mistake?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
What is one thing you do alone that someone could help with, if you asked?
When did you last say "I was wrong" to someone you lead?
Jesus took the lowest place in the room. Which job in your ministry or home do you quietly think is beneath you?
One way someone answered
I run the sound desk alone every week, because training someone would mean admitting I do not understand all of it myself. I call it being reliable. Peter would call it pride. Jesus washed feet in front of the people who looked up to him. I could ask the young man who keeps offering to show me what he knows.
For your team: Where does our team make it hard to admit a mistake?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where is pride keeping you from asking for help or admitting a mistake?
One action
Choose one humble act today without seeking credit: serve quietly, apologize first, or ask for help with something you usually do alone.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If you are not sure where to begin, ask God for one chance to serve, apologize, or ask for help, and take the first one that comes. Choose something safe and freely given.
If you are not sure where to begin, ask God to show you one opportunity to serve, apologize, or ask for help.
One prayer
Lord, I want to be lifted up by You, not by myself. Clothe me with humility today, and let me serve where no one is watching.
It is possible to preach, lead, and serve while quietly chasing something else: approval, control, or comfort. From the outside it all looks the same. The song is sung, the meal is served, the lesson is taught. People may even applaud.
Today’s teaching
Proverbs says we are poor judges of ourselves. Our own ways look clean to us, and we can always find a good reason for what we wanted to do anyway. But God weighs what is underneath. He sees why we said yes, and why we said no.
This is not meant to make you afraid of your own heart. Mixed motives are common, and God is patient with them. The point is to bring them into the light, where He can make them clean. Paul told one church plainly that he was not trying to please people, but God, who tests our hearts (1 Thessalonians 2:4).
Jesus warned His followers about doing good in order to be seen. Some people gave to the poor with a show, or prayed on street corners so that others would notice. Jesus said they already had their reward: the attention they wanted.
Instead, He said, give quietly, so that your left hand does not know what your right hand is doing, and pray behind a closed door. Your Father sees what is done in secret. Jesus did not forbid doing good in public. He asked who it was for.
In the church
Church work is often visible. People notice who leads worship, teaches, or is asked to pray. When you depend on that attention, it becomes hard to serve without keeping score or feeling hurt when no one thanks you.
Bring the motive into the light. Ask whether you would still do this if no one but God knew.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Weighs” is a picture from the marketplace, where goods were set on a scale. God puts the reasons behind our actions on the scale, not only the actions themselves.
Practice further
Write a short “why I serve” statement before God. Underline anything that sounds more like a need to be noticed than love for God and people. Pray honestly over those words.
Talk it over
Where have you recently done something spiritual mainly to be noticed or praised?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think of something you did at church or at home this month that people noticed. How did you feel when they did, or when they did not?
Jesus said the people who did good to be seen already had their reward. What reward were you hoping for?
Is there something you would stop doing if no one ever knew about it?
One way someone answered
I posted about the food drive I organized. Most of the post was about the need. Some of it was about me. When the comments came in, I checked them more than I prayed for the families. I do not think the whole thing was for show. I think part of it was, and I would rather tell God that than pretend.
For your team: What do we do mainly because it will be seen?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where have you recently done something spiritual mainly to be noticed or praised?
One action
Before one important decision today, stop and ask, “If no one but God ever knew about this, would I still choose it?” If the honest answer is no, tell God, and talk it over with someone you trust before you change anything.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If no decision is waiting today, take one recent choice and ask the same question of it. If the honest answer is no, tell God, and talk with someone you trust before you change anything.
If no decision is waiting today, return to one recent choice and bring the same question to God.
One prayer
Lord, You see why I do what I do. Search my heart, show me what is mixed, and make my service simple love for You.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Some days you run from one thing to the next without stopping to think. Messages, errands, a meeting, a crisis, bed. You make a dozen decisions, and you could not explain most of them. They were reactions.
Today’s teaching
Paul says the world has a pattern. It shapes what we call success, what we fear, and what we think we deserve. Without renewal, those assumptions can guide our decisions unnoticed.
Change begins inside, in the way you think, before it shows up in what you decide. That is why the apostles spent so much time teaching and writing to confused believers. They wanted them to see clearly enough to recognize God’s will. A leader who never renews their mind will lead other people into the same confusion.
Once, in a boat, the disciples realized they had brought only one loaf. Jesus warned them about the yeast of the Pharisees and of Herod, and they thought He was talking about bread. They had just watched Him feed thousands with a few loaves, twice.
Jesus asked them, “Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened?” Worry about bread had fogged their thinking. They missed what was right in front of them, including Jesus Himself, sitting in the boat.
In the church
Churches make many decisions by habit. We do it this way because we always have, or because someone strong wants it, or because we are tired. Sometimes the best thing a leader can do is stop and think, with Scripture open and prayer offered, before deciding.
What you feed your mind matters. The news, your phone, your conversations, and your reading all shape what seems normal to you, and none of them is neutral.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Transformed” is the word behind our word “metamorphosis.” The Gospels use it for Jesus being transfigured (Matthew 17:2). Paul’s verb is ongoing: keep being transformed. The verb is also passive: be transformed. God does the changing, and we make room for Him.
Practice further
Memorize Romans 12:2 this week. Say it when you feel pulled to follow the world’s pattern instead of the mind of Christ.
Talk it over
Where is the world’s thinking shaping how you see success, relationships, or ministry?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
How do you measure a good year in your ministry or family? Where did that measure come from?
The disciples worried about bread while Jesus sat in the boat. What worry fogs your thinking most?
What did you read, watch, or scroll yesterday, and what did it tell you is normal?
One way someone answered
I count a good Sunday by how many people came. I never decided that. I picked it up from the men's group I was in years ago and from every church website I look at. Numbers are not nothing, but Jesus had just fed thousands and his friends were still worried about one loaf. I want to put my question about the youth group on paper with my Bible open and my phone in another room.
For your team: Which of our decisions come from habit rather than prayer and thought?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where is the world’s thinking shaping how you see success, relationships, or ministry?
One action
Choose one question in your ministry, family, or work. Set aside twenty minutes with notifications off, your Bible open, and a sheet of paper. Write what Scripture helps you see, what remains uncertain, and one faithful next step.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If twenty minutes is not possible today, take five with your Bible open and finish tomorrow. Starting is the point.
If twenty minutes is not possible today, take five and finish tomorrow.
One prayer
Lord, renew my mind. Where the world has shaped my thinking, reshape it, so that I can see Your will and want it.
Someone speaks to you sharply in front of others. A volunteer fails to show up for the third week in a row. A message arrives that feels unfair. In the first second, something rises in you: heat in your face, words ready on your tongue.
Today’s teaching
When you feel provoked, a pause can give you room to choose your words. Ask the Spirit to help you tell the truth with self-control rather than defend yourself in anger. Some reactions are fear your body learned for good reason. That is not sin, and God is gentle with it.
When a Samaritan village refused to welcome Jesus, James and John were furious. “Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?” they asked. Jesus turned and rebuked them, and they went on to another village.
The two brothers reacted. Jesus responded. He did not pretend the insult had not happened, and He did not let it decide what He did next.
In the church
Your reactions shape the emotional climate of your home, your group, and your ministry. If people have to manage your temper, they will stop telling you things. If they know you will pause, listen, and answer fairly, they can bring you hard news early.
A pause is not the same as staying silent forever. Some things must be addressed. The pause simply makes sure that when you do speak, your hurt is not the one doing the talking.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
A “gentle” answer is literally a soft one, and soft is not the same as weak. “Stirs up” means “makes rise”: a harsh word makes anger climb.
A further biblical connection
The apostles faced threats, criticism, and conflict. When the religious council threatened Peter and John, they went back to their friends and prayed before they did anything else (Acts 4:23–31). Their greatest moments often came when they prayed first and spoke second.
Practice further
Think of a recent moment when you reacted badly. Write out the scene again with the response you wish you had given, and pray for the maturity to respond that way next time. If your reaction hurt someone, consider going back to make it right.
Talk it over
What situations trigger you most quickly: disrespect, lateness, disagreement, or failure?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think of the last time you felt heat rise in your face. Which of the four was it: disrespect, lateness, disagreement, or failure?
James and John wanted fire from heaven. What does your version of fire look like: a sharp email, silence, a lecture?
The teaching says some reactions are fear your body learned for good reason. Does that fit any of yours?
One way someone answered
Lateness. When a volunteer walks in fifteen minutes after we start, I feel disrespected, and my first words are usually a joke with an edge. Jesus did not pretend the village had not refused him. He just did not let it decide what came next. My version of fire is a dry comment in front of everyone. I want to try the pause and one breath on Sunday.
For your team: How does our team handle hard news when it arrives?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
What situations trigger you most quickly: disrespect, lateness, disagreement, or failure?
One action
Today, when you feel provoked, count to five silently and take one slow breath before you speak. In that pause, ask God for an answer that is gentle and true.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If the moment has already passed, write down the answer you wish you had given. If going back would be safe and wise, make it right. If not, the writing is enough for today.
If the moment has already passed, write down the answer you wish you had given. If it is safe and wise, go back and make it right.
One prayer
Holy Spirit, when something rises in me today, slow me down. Give me an answer that is gentle and true, and keep my hurt from speaking for me.
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
Many of us have started with great energy: a Bible reading plan, an early prayer time, a new ministry. A month later, the routine had fallen away.
Today’s teaching
Paul uses athletes as his picture. The runners and boxers in the Greek games trained for months and said no to many things, all for a crown of leaves that would wilt. Paul says followers of Jesus have a better reason to train, because what they are working toward lasts.
Small, daily restraints help sustain faithfulness. Saying no to some demands on our screens, spending, and schedules makes room for the things that matter.
In Gethsemane, the night before the cross, Jesus asked Peter, James, and John to stay awake with Him. He went a little farther and prayed in deep distress. When He came back, He found them sleeping.
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation,” He told them. “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Jesus rebuked them honestly, but He did not give up on them. He named their weakness, and He showed them the answer: staying close to the Father in prayer when everything in you wants something easier.
In the church
Paul worried that he could preach to others and still lose his own way. That is a real danger for anyone who serves. Leaders can spend so much energy on other people’s growth that they stop tending their own.
Sleep, rest, movement, and simple routines help you meet the demands of leadership. Practice them with care for your body, without turning discipline into punishment or a test of your worth.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Self-control” here comes from the same root as the self-control listed with the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23). It is more than willpower. It grows as the Spirit works in you.
Practice further
Set a simple weekly rhythm that includes work, rest, movement, and time with God. Ask another believer to check in with you about it once a week for a month.
Talk it over
Where are you choosing short-term comfort over what is good for you and others in the long run?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
What do you reach for at the end of a hard day? What does it cost you the next morning?
Jesus asked three friends to stay awake and pray, and they slept. Where does "the flesh is weak" show up in your week?
Which small no would make room for something that lasts?
One way someone answered
One more episode. Then it is midnight, and I am short with everyone at breakfast and flat in my prayer time. It is not a big sin. It is a small comfort that keeps winning. Jesus named his friends' weakness and did not give up on them. For the next twenty-four hours I want to put the remote down at ten and see what happens.
For your team: Which of our team’s habits wear people out instead of building stamina?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where are you choosing short-term comfort over what is good for you and others in the long run?
One action
Pick one small, real area of restraint for the next twenty-four hours: social media at night, an impulse purchase, one more episode. Choose something that is not about food or weight. Offer it to God as training.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If you slip, begin again at the next chance. This is practice, not a test, and one slip does not cancel the day.
If you slip, begin again at the next opportunity. This is practice, not a test.
One prayer
Lord, I want to finish well. Train me in small things today, and grow in me the self-control that comes from Your Spirit.
Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’
I used to be proud of how tired I was. I told part of that story in The Cross of Selfless Leadership: two jobs, very little sleep, and a life that looked like ambition from the outside. It cost more than I expected. I became irritable and numb, and the people closest to me paid for it.
Today’s teaching
The apostles had just come back from their first mission. They were full of stories, and the crowds were so thick that they could not even eat. Jesus did not tell them to push harder. He told them to come away with Him and rest.
Jesus called His followers both to serve and to rest. Exhaustion can leave us irritable or numb, as I had become. His invitation to step away offers care for us and for the people we serve.
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up and went to a quiet place to pray. His disciples went looking for Him. “Everyone is looking for you,” they said.
Jesus did not rush back to meet every demand. He said, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” Time alone with the Father made it clear what He was sent to do, and what He could leave undone.
In the church
Many churches depend on a few tired people. They say yes because no one else will, and some are proud of it, as I once was. Following Jesus also means accepting His invitation to rest and allowing others to share the work.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
The NIV calls it “a solitary place.” The Greek expression describes a deserted place, away from the crowd. Jesus often went to such places to pray (Mark 1:35). Rest with Jesus is more than stopping work. It is being with Him.
Practice further
List what drains you and what renews you. Change one weekly habit so that the balance moves toward health.
Talk it over
What are your signs that you are running on empty, spiritually, emotionally, or physically?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
What do the people closest to you notice first when you are worn down?
Jesus went to a quiet place before everyone came looking for him. When did you last have an hour with no one asking anything of you?
Is your tiredness something you chose, or something life handed you? The answer changes what help looks like.
One way someone answered
I get sarcastic, and I stop praying except in the car. My wife knows before I do. Some of this is yes-saying I could stop. Some of it is my mother's care, which no one else can take right now. Jesus did not run back to every demand. I do not know yet what I can hand off, but I can protect fifteen minutes tomorrow morning and ask my brother about Thursdays.
For your team: What could our team stop, share, or hand off so that people can rest?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
What are your signs that you are running on empty, spiritually, emotionally, or physically?
One action
Schedule one block of real rest this week, at least an hour, with no scrolling, work, or planning. Spend it in prayer, in quiet, on a walk, or over a simple meal with someone you love.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If an hour is out of reach right now, start with fifteen minutes and protect them. If your exhaustion is not a choice, the question is who can help you carry it, not how to try harder.
If an hour is out of reach right now, start with fifteen minutes and protect them.
One prayer
Jesus, You invite tired people to come away with You. I accept. Teach me to rest without guilt, and to trust You with what I leave undone.
Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.
What does the farmer wait for, and what does James tell believers to do while they wait?
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
What two things does the farmer wait for, according to the verse?
James gives believers two commands in verse 8. Find them, and the reason he gives.
One way someone answered
The farmer waits for the land to yield its crop and for the autumn and spring rains. James says be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.
A farmer cannot make it rain. He can plow, plant, and pull weeds, and then he has to wait. If he digs up the seed every few days to see whether it is growing, he will kill it.
Today’s teaching
James wrote to believers who were suffering, some of them treated unfairly by the rich and powerful (James 5:1–6). He did not promise quick relief. He pointed them to the farmer and to the Lord’s return. For James, patience is not a personality type. It is hope that holds on.
Impatience with people, with timelines, or with your own growth often shows that your hope is in quick results rather than in God’s timing. Paul planted, Apollos watered, and they trusted God to give the growth (1 Corinthians 3:6).
Jesus said the kingdom of God is like a man who scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. The soil produces the stalk, then the head, then the full grain. When the grain is ripe, the harvest comes.
The farmer does his part, and the growth happens on a schedule he does not control.
In the church
Ministry involves people whose growth you cannot control. The person who repeats a mistake, the group that seems stuck, and the prayer still unanswered remain in God’s care.
Impatience shows up in tone, decisions, and expectations. It sounds like sighing, pushing, and taking over. Patience sounds like staying, asking again, and trusting that God is at work even when you cannot see it.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
The NIV’s “stand firm” expresses the idea of strengthening your hearts, or making them firm. It is the language of setting something solid in place. Patience is not passive. It is a heart made steady while you wait.
Practice further
Write about a time when God’s slower timing turned out wiser than your quick plan. Thank Him for that delay, and be specific.
Talk it over
Where are you most impatient right now: with people you lead, with prayers not yet answered, or with your own weaknesses?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Which of the three came to mind first: a person, a prayer, or yourself?
What does your impatience sound like out loud? Sighing, pushing, taking over?
In Jesus' story the seed grows while the farmer sleeps. What have you been digging up to check on?
One way someone answered
Myself. I have been working on my temper since Day 6 and I lost it again on Tuesday. I wanted to be done with this by now. With other people I can wait. With me I keep digging up the seed to see if anything is happening. The farmer in the story goes to bed. I would like to learn that.
For your team: Where are we pushing people to grow on our schedule instead of God’s?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where are you most impatient right now: with people you lead, with prayers not yet answered, or with your own weaknesses?
One action
Today, slow down on purpose in one place where you usually rush: a conversation, a meeting, or a task. Be fully present instead of pushing on to the next thing.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If the day gets away from you, give your next conversation your whole attention, or sit quietly with God for a minute. That counts as slowing down.
If the day gets away from you, give your next conversation your full attention, or spend a quiet moment with God.
One prayer
Lord, You are patient with me. Make my heart firm while I wait, and help me be patient with the people You are still growing, including me.
‘Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.’
It is easy to see what is wrong with other people: their tone, their lateness, their blind spots. We notice these things quickly, and we often describe them well.
Today’s teaching
Jesus uses a picture meant to make you smile: a man with a plank sticking out of his eye, leaning in to remove a speck of dust from his friend’s eye. He cannot see what he is doing, and he is not yet the right person to do it.
Jesus is not against helping others. He wants us to help, and He tells us how: start with your own repentance, and then you will see clearly. The more responsibility you carry, the more this matters. People who guide others without looking at themselves first become harsh and blind.
Jesus told a story to some people who were sure of their own goodness and looked down on everyone else. Two men went to the temple to pray. One stood and thanked God that he was not like other people, and he listed his good works.
The other, a tax collector, stood at a distance. He would not even look up. He beat his chest and said, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Jesus said the second man went home right with God. He did not bring his record. He asked for mercy. Those who lift themselves up will be brought low, and those who humble themselves will be lifted up (Luke 18:14).
In the church
When a ministry faces a problem, identify the part you can take responsibility for. Name your mistake, if there was one, and what you can do next. You can do this without accepting blame for someone else’s choices.
Leaders who repent quickly make it safe for others to do the same. Leaders who never admit a fault teach everyone around them to hide.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Hypocrite” was the word for an actor who wore a mask on stage. Jesus is naming a performance: playing the helper while hiding what is in your own eye.
Practice further
This week, confess one personal sin or pattern to a trusted believer and ask them to help you grow, before you challenge anyone else (James 5:16). Choose someone mature who will keep your confidence.
Talk it over
Where are you critical of others while excusing the same weakness in yourself?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Who irritates you most in your ministry or family right now? Name the fault in one word.
Has anyone ever used that same word about you?
The tax collector did not bring his record. He asked for mercy. What would you have to stop defending to pray like that?
One way someone answered
The woman who runs our children's ministry is controlling. That is my word for her. My wife would use the same word for how I run the budget meeting. I call mine being careful. Jesus is not telling me her speck is nothing. He is telling me I cannot see it clearly yet. The prayer I can manage today is the tax collector's.
For your team: When something goes wrong, how quickly do we ask, “What is our part?”
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where are you critical of others while excusing the same weakness in yourself?
One action
When a problem comes up today, pray, “Lord, show me the plank in my own eye.” Write down any part you honestly recognize as yours and one step you can take.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If no problem comes up today, go back to your last disagreement and ask the same question of it. Write only your own part. You are not responsible for harm someone else did to you.
If nothing comes up today, think back to your last disagreement and ask the same question.
One prayer
Lord, have mercy on me. Show me my own heart before I judge anyone else’s, and give me clear eyes to help others gently.
People can admire your gift and still hesitate to trust you. You may preach, sing, or organize well. But when promises are forgotten or the truth is bent to avoid trouble, people learn to hold back. They may say nothing; their trust simply weakens.
Today’s teaching
Paul calls himself and his fellow workers, like Apollos, stewards. In a household, a steward managed what belonged to someone else, and the one thing required of him was faithfulness. Leadership is like that. It is a trust, not a possession.
Trust is built slowly and lost quickly. When trust is high, even hard decisions are easier to receive. When trust is low, even good ideas feel threatening. Faithfulness over time builds the kind of trust that raises up other leaders.
Notice who does the finding. Paul says the Lord is the one who judges him (1 Corinthians 4:4–5). People’s trust follows faithfulness, but it is not the goal.
Jesus said that whoever is faithful with very little is also faithful with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little is also dishonest with much. Then He asked two searching questions.
If you have not been faithful with ordinary money, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been faithful with what belongs to someone else, who will give you something of your own? Small things are where trust is tested.
In the church
Trust in a church is built out of small, ordinary things: returning a call, being on time, keeping a confidence, doing what you said you would do, and admitting it quickly when you did not.
If trust has been damaged, there is no shortcut back. It is rebuilt the way it was built, one kept promise at a time. That can be discouraging. It is also hopeful, because anyone can start today.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Found” is the language of an inspection. A steward’s faithfulness is not claimed. It is found out over time, when the master looks at what was done with what was entrusted.
Practice further
Make a short list of habits that build trust: returning messages, being on time, admitting mistakes, keeping confidences. Pick one and practice it every day for a week.
Talk it over
Where have you bent the truth, failed to follow through, or promised more than you could give?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Which of the three is most like you: bending the truth, not following through, or promising more than you can give?
What small promise did you make last week that you have not kept yet? Jesus says small things are where trust is tested.
Who has quietly stopped counting on you, and how do you know?
One way someone answered
Over-promising. I say "I will call you this week" to three people after church and call one. Nobody complains. They just stop asking. Jesus says whoever is faithful with very little can be trusted with much, and I keep wanting the much. There is one call I have put off for a month. I can make it today.
For your team: What promises has our team made that we have not kept?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where have you bent the truth, failed to follow through, or promised more than you could give?
One action
Choose one commitment you have delayed or avoided, and keep it today.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If you cannot keep the commitment today, contact the person and reset honestly what they can expect from you. Apologize if an apology is owed. That is also faithfulness.
If you cannot keep it, contact the person and honestly reset what they can expect from you, with an apology if one is owed.
One prayer
Lord, everything I lead belongs to You. Make me faithful in small things today, so that the people around me can trust You more because they can trust me.
Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
Feedback can feel welcome until it hurts. Then the explanations start: They misunderstood. They do not see the whole picture. They have their own problems.
Today’s teaching
Proverbs gives a simple test. Correct a mocker, and he will hate you. Correct a wise person, and he will love you for it. How you react to correction shows whether you are actually wise or only experienced.
The apostles corrected the churches and sometimes each other. When Peter pulled away from Gentile believers out of fear, Paul confronted him directly (Galatians 2:11–14). Receiving correction gives us a chance to see what we have missed and change course.
Soon after Peter declared that Jesus was the Messiah, Jesus began to explain that He must suffer, be killed, and rise again. Peter took Him aside and rebuked Him: “Never, Lord! … This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said, “Get behind me, Satan!” Peter was thinking about human concerns, not the things of God.
It must have stung. But Peter stayed. He kept following, and six days later he was on the mountain when Jesus was transfigured (Matthew 17:1–2).
In the church
Notice who feels safe telling you the truth, and who clearly does not. If no one ever corrects you, it may not mean you are doing well. It may mean people have learned that it is not worth the cost.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
The “mocker” in Proverbs is someone who scoffs at wisdom and will not be taught. Proverbs treats teachability as a sign of wisdom, not a lack of it.
Practice further
Think of a past correction that you now see was right. Thank God for it, and if you can, thank the person who gave it. Ask God to make you quicker to receive the truth next time.
Talk it over
How do you react inside when someone corrects you: defensive, ashamed, or grateful?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think of the last correction you received. What was the first sentence you said back, or thought?
Who used to tell you hard truths and has gone quiet? What did it cost them last time?
Peter was rebuked sharply and stayed. What keeps you from staying when it stings?
One way someone answered
Defensive, then ashamed about an hour later. When our elder told me my sermons were running long, I explained the series structure to him for five minutes. He has not said anything since, and that worries me more than his first comment did. Peter heard "Get behind me" and kept following. I want to ask our elder one question this week and not explain anything.
For your team: What makes it hard to tell our team a hard truth, and what would make it safer?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
How do you react inside when someone corrects you: defensive, ashamed, or grateful?
One action
Ask one mature believer to name one area where they think you need to grow as a leader. Listen without defending yourself, write it down, and thank them sincerely.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If you cannot ask today, write down the name of the person you will ask, and the day. Choose someone who corrects without contempt.
If you cannot ask today, write down the name of the person you will ask, and when.
One prayer
Lord, make me wise enough to love correction. Give me people who will tell me the truth, and a heart that is glad to hear it.
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.
When a plan fails, something strange often happens in the room. Everyone starts explaining. The timing was bad. The volunteers did not follow through. Someone never sent the email. All of it may be partly true, and nothing changes.
Today’s teaching
Blame is easy. Ownership is rare. Paul asks believers to test their own work instead of comparing themselves with others or making excuses. Leaders who own outcomes, good and bad, help build a church where everyone takes responsibility, not only a few strong people.
Owning your part is not taking all the blame. It is taking your share before God, honestly, and then doing something about it.
In Jesus’ story, a younger son wasted his inheritance and ended up feeding pigs, hungry enough to want their food. Then he came to his senses. He did not blame his father, his brother, or the famine. He decided to go home and say, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.”
He decided to own his part. While he was still a long way off, his father saw him, was filled with compassion, and ran to welcome him. The son then confessed. He came home expecting to ask for a servant’s place; his father welcomed him as a son.
In the church
A healthy church needs both. People carry one another’s burdens, and each person carries their own load. When leaders refuse to own their part, others end up carrying it for them, and the people who care most wear out first.
Ownership also means naming what is not yours. Some leaders carry things that were never theirs to carry: other people’s choices and other people’s responsibilities. Part of owning your load is setting down what belongs to someone else.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
Just before this, Paul tells the church to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). Here he says each one will carry his own load. Paul uses two different words. The first means a heavy weight. The second is a common word for a load or a pack. Some weights are meant to be shared, and some are yours to carry.
Practice further
Pray through Galatians 6:1–5. Ask God to show you one place where He wants you to carry your own load with more integrity, and one place where you are carrying someone else’s.
Talk it over
Where are you tempted right now to shift blame instead of taking responsibility?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think of something that went wrong recently. When you explained it, whose name came up first?
The younger son rehearsed "I have sinned" before he got home. What is your version of that sentence?
Is there something you are carrying that was never yours? Setting it down is also part of today.
One way someone answered
The retreat lost money, and in the meeting I talked about the venue raising prices and the late sign-ups. Both true. I did not say that I never set a budget. The son in the story did not mention the famine when he got home. My sentence is: I did not plan, and I let others pay for it. My first step is to tell the treasurer that.
For your team: What is our team carrying that belongs to someone else?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where are you tempted right now to shift blame instead of taking responsibility?
One action
Choose one area that is not where it should be, whether spiritually, relationally, or practically. Write “Here is my part,” and list two specific steps you will take. Take the first one today.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If today is heavy, write "Here is my part" and one small step, and let the step wait until tomorrow. Naming it is enough for today.
If today is heavy, write “Here is my part” and one small step. It can wait until tomorrow.
One prayer
Lord, I do not want to hide behind excuses. Show me my part, give me courage to carry it, and give me wisdom to set down what is not mine.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
When a crisis hits a family or a church, people look around the room. They are looking for someone who is not panicking. If they find that person, they calm down a little. If the leader panics, fear spreads faster than any announcement.
Today’s teaching
Paul wrote these words in chains, not on vacation (Philippians 1:13). He did not tell the Philippians to pretend everything was fine. He told them to pray about everything, with thanks, and to let God’s peace do what their own effort could not.
You do not have to deny fear to bring it to God. Prayer gives you a place to name what is happening, ask for help, and receive His care.
Jesus and His disciples were crossing the lake in the evening when a furious storm came up. Waves broke over the boat, and it was filling with water. Jesus was asleep on a cushion in the back. The disciples woke Him: “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” Then everything was calm. “Why are you so afraid?” He asked them. “Do you still have no faith?” The disciples had been afraid of the storm. Now they were in awe of the One who was in the boat with them.
In the church
People notice how we handle pressure. When we pray, tell the truth, and keep going, it helps them trust God with hard things too.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Guard” is a military word. It pictures soldiers standing watch over a city. The peace of God stands watch over your heart and your mind.
Practice further
Name the three things that most easily pull you into anxiety. For each one, write down one Scripture and one practical habit that help you stay anchored in Christ when it comes.
Talk it over
What situations pull you most easily into anxiety: money, conflict, health, or ministry results?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Which of the four woke you up last, or kept you awake: money, conflict, health, or results?
The disciples asked Jesus whether he cared that they were drowning. What is the question under your worry?
What would it look like to bring the fear to God without pretending it is already gone?
One way someone answered
Money. The church budget and my own are both tight, and I lie awake doing math. The question under it is the disciples' question: do you care that we are sinking? I do not have a tidy answer. What I can do is say the verse out loud in the car, name the number, and thank God for one thing. If the nights keep going like this, I should also tell my doctor.
For your team: What does our team teach others about God by how we handle a crisis?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
What situations pull you most easily into anxiety: money, conflict, health, or ministry results?
One action
When anxiety rises today, stop and pray Philippians 4:6–7 back to God, out loud if you can. Name your request, and thank Him for one specific thing.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If the anxiety does not lift, pray it again later and tell someone you trust how you are doing. If fear is costing you sleep, health, or work, a doctor or counselor is part of the step, not a failure of faith.
If the anxiety does not lift, pray it again later, and tell someone you trust how you are doing.
One prayer
Father, You know what I am anxious about today. I bring it to You now, and I thank You that You hear me. Let Your peace stand guard over my heart and my mind.
Ego is hard to see in yourself. It shows up as a small sting when someone else is thanked, a need to mention your part in a success, or a quiet reluctance to train someone who might become better than you.
In The Cross of Selfless Leadership, I wrote about nominating a colleague for an award I wanted for myself. Letting it go was not a loss. It was the first time I said no to a part of my ego that had quietly taken over, and I have had to keep saying it.
Today’s teaching
John the Baptist had crowds. People came from Jerusalem and all over Judea to hear him. Then Jesus began His ministry, and the crowds started to move. John’s disciples were worried. Everyone is going to Him, they said.
John’s answer is one of the most freeing sentences in the Bible. He compared himself to the friend of a bridegroom, whose joy is complete when he hears the groom’s voice. Then he said, “He must become greater; I must become less.” John was not bitter about becoming smaller. He was glad.
Ego turns leadership into a personal brand instead of a service to God’s kingdom. A leader whose strength comes from Christ, and not from being noticed, can be glad when someone else is praised. More of Christ, less of me.
James and John came to Jesus with a request: when You come into Your glory, let one of us sit at Your right and the other at Your left. When the other ten heard it, they were angry.
Jesus called them together. Among the rulers of this world, He said, the great ones lord it over others. It must not be so among you. Whoever wants to be great must be your servant. Even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.
In the church
In a church, ego often hides behind good work. A leader keeps the microphone, the keys, or the final word and calls it faithfulness. Making room for Christ often looks like making room for someone else.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Must” translates a word the Gospels often use for what God has planned (as in Mark 8:31). John did not see his decrease as a loss to be managed. He saw it as God’s plan working.
Practice further
Pray John 3:30 over your life and ministry every day this week. Ask God to show you where He wants to increase and where you need to decrease.
Talk it over
Where do you feel threatened when someone else is praised or promoted?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
When someone else was thanked recently, what was your first small feeling?
James and John asked for the best seats. What seat are you protecting: the microphone, the keys, or the final word?
John said his joy was complete when he heard the groom's voice. What would it take for you to be glad, not just polite, when someone else is honored?
One way someone answered
When our new worship leader got a round of applause, I clapped and felt a sting. I started that team, and nobody said so. James and John wanted the seats beside Jesus. I think I want the seat called founder. John the Baptist was glad to get smaller. I am not there yet. Today I can say out loud, in front of the team, what she is doing well.
For your team: Where does our team compete for credit?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where do you feel threatened when someone else is praised or promoted?
One action
Today, turn the attention toward someone else’s growth, faith, or service, in public or in private, without drawing it back to yourself.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If you are alone today, write a note of thanks to someone whose work usually goes unnoticed. Becoming less means pointing to Christ, not erasing yourself. You still have a voice.
If you are alone today, write a note of thanks to someone whose work usually goes unnoticed.
One prayer
Jesus, You must increase, and I must decrease. Make me glad when others are honored, and let my life point to You.
Some decisions are made in the car on the way home. You have been turning something over for weeks, and suddenly it is settled. You announce it at the next meeting. Only later do you find out what you did not know.
Today’s teaching
Proverbs says that a people without guidance falls, and that there is safety in many advisers. The verse speaks first about a nation, but its wisdom holds for a family, a ministry, or a church. Deciding alone can feel strong. Often it is simply risky.
In the New Testament, major decisions were rarely made alone. When the early church faced a hard question about Gentile believers, the apostles and elders met, listened to one another, and looked to Scripture before they decided (Acts 15:6–22). Seeking counsel does not weaken your leadership. It deepens it.
Before Jesus chose the twelve apostles, He went out to a mountainside and spent the whole night praying to God. In the morning He called His disciples together and chose twelve of them.
Jesus was the Son of God, and still He did not make this decision in a hurry or on His own. He brought it to His Father first.
In the church
Counsel works best early, when it can still shape a decision. Asking for advice after you have already decided is really asking for agreement, and people can tell the difference.
Good counsel also needs variety. If everyone you ask thinks exactly as you do, you are not getting counsel. You are getting an echo. Include people with different strengths, different ages, and the freedom to disagree with you.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
The word for “guidance” in Proverbs is connected with steering, the skill of guiding a ship. Wise counsel helps you steer, especially in rough water.
Practice further
Sketch your “counsel circle”: three to five people with different strengths you can go to with spiritual, relational, and practical questions. Ask God whether anyone is missing.
Talk it over
What big decisions have you made recently without real input from wise believers?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think of your last big decision. Who knew about it before it was settled?
If you asked for advice, was it before you decided or after? The teaching says people can tell the difference.
Jesus prayed all night before choosing the twelve. How long did you give your last one?
One way someone answered
I decided to end the Wednesday night service in the car on the way home and announced it the next Sunday. I asked two friends afterwards, and they agreed, which is probably why I asked them. Jesus spent a night on the mountain before choosing his team. I gave this one a drive. There is a building decision coming up. I want to ask our oldest elder before I have made up my mind.
For your team: Whose voice is missing when our team makes decisions?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
What big decisions have you made recently without real input from wise believers?
One action
Before you finalize one meaningful decision today, ask at least one spiritually mature person for advice, and weigh what they say seriously before you act.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If there is no decision to make today, ask one person whether they would be willing to be one of your advisers. That is the whole task.
If there is no decision to make today, ask someone whether they would be willing to be one of your advisers.
One prayer
Lord, I do not want to lead alone. Give me wise people, a humble ear, and the patience to seek counsel before I decide.
A friend does not answer your message for three days. A co-leader changes the plan without asking you. Someone leaves the church and does not say why. In each case your mind fills in the story, and it is usually not a kind one.
Today’s teaching
Suspicion damages unity. Love does the harder work of looking for the best reasonable explanation until there is clear reason not to. Assuming the worst feels like protection, but it often becomes a prediction you help fulfill.
Paul wrote these words to a church full of division and hurt (1 Corinthians 1:10–12). The same letter confronts serious sin directly (1 Corinthians 5). So believing all things does not mean believing anything. It means that love does not start with suspicion.
In Bethany, a woman came to Jesus with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on His head. Some of the people there were indignant. What a waste, they said. It could have been sold and the money given to the poor. And they scolded her harshly.
Jesus told the critics to leave her alone and called her act beautiful. He explained that she had poured perfume on His body to prepare for His burial. Her critics saw waste. Jesus saw love, and He said that wherever the gospel is preached, what she had done would be told in memory of her.
In the church
Many conflicts in churches grow out of assumptions. One person hears a comment and decides what it meant. By the time anyone asks, the relationship is already damaged.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
The NIV says love “always protects.” The underlying Greek verb can carry the sense of covering or bearing. The image of a sheltering roof helps us consider how love protects people without hiding harm.
Practice further
Pray over one strained relationship. Ask God to replace suspicion with love that protects, believes, hopes, and endures.
Talk it over
In conflict, do you first assume bad motives, or do you look for a kind explanation?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think of a message that went unanswered recently. What story did your mind supply?
The people in Bethany saw waste. Jesus saw love. Whose action have you judged this month without asking what it meant?
Where does your suspicion feel like protection? What has it cost you?
One way someone answered
A co-leader changed the room setup without telling me, and I decided she was pushing me out. I did not ask. I moved it all back and said nothing. Two weeks later I learned the other room had a leak. The people at Bethany had a reasonable-sounding story too, and they were wrong. Next time I want to write down one kind explanation before I touch anything.
For your team: Without naming anyone, how can we check our guesses about people before we act on them?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
In conflict, do you first assume bad motives, or do you look for a kind explanation?
One action
When someone disappoints you today, pause and write down at least one kind or reasonable explanation before you respond. If you are not sure what they meant, ask them before you decide.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If no disappointment comes today, recall one ordinary misunderstanding and write down a reasonable explanation. You do not need to contact anyone. Believing the best is not the same as ignoring harm.
If no disappointment comes today, recall one ordinary misunderstanding and write down a reasonable explanation. You do not need to contact anyone.
One prayer
Lord, You know the worst about me, and You love me still. Give me love that looks for the best in others, and the wisdom to know when love must speak up.
What two limits does Paul place on this command, and which part is yours?
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Find the two phrases that limit the command, before "live at peace".
Who is the command about: everyone, or only the people who are easy?
One way someone answered
The limits are "if it is possible" and "as far as it depends on you". The command is about everyone. The part that is mine is my part, not their response.
Some tension becomes part of the furniture. Two people in the church have not really spoken in a year. A family gathering goes smoothly as long as nobody mentions a certain name. Everyone has grown used to it.
Today’s teaching
Peace does not mean avoiding conflict. It means handling conflict in a way that looks like Christ. The apostles had sharp disagreements. Paul and Barnabas once disagreed so strongly about John Mark that they went separate ways (Acts 15:36–41). Years later, Paul asked for Mark by name, because Mark was helpful to him in ministry (2 Timothy 4:11).
Paul’s command is honest about its limits: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you,” live at peace with everyone. You cannot control another person’s response. But those words still leave us a part to do, and that part is yours.
Jesus said that if you are bringing your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there. First go and be reconciled. Then come back and offer your gift.
Jesus put making peace with people ahead of a religious duty. Worship and a broken relationship are not meant to sit comfortably side by side.
In the church
People who value peace can apologize for their part, listen carefully, and hold their convictions without contempt. Where contact is safe, a small, honest conversation may begin the repair.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
In the Bible, peace is more than the absence of fighting. Paul wrote in Greek, but his idea of peace comes from the Hebrew word shalom. It means wholeness: things, and people, put right.
Practice further
Pray through Romans 12:9–21. Ask God to show you what kind of peacemaker He is calling you to be in your church and in your family.
Talk it over
Where is there unresolved tension you have grown used to?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Whose name does everyone avoid at your table or in your meetings?
Jesus said to leave the gift at the altar and go first. What have you been offering God while this sits unresolved?
Is contact with this person safe? That changes what your step looks like today.
One way someone answered
My brother-in-law. We fell out over money four years ago, and family dinners now have a shape built around not mentioning it. I have led communion many times since then. Jesus says go first, then come back to the altar. Contact is safe; it is just awkward. My part might be a short message that says I am sorry for my share, with no demand that he answer.
For your team: What unresolved tension has our team learned to live around?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where is there unresolved tension you have grown used to?
One action
Take one small step toward peace today: send a message, ask to talk, apologize for your part, or simply listen without defending yourself.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If a step in person would not be safe or wise, pray for the person by name and ask a trusted leader for counsel. Safety comes first, and that is still your part.
If a step in person would not be safe or wise, pray for the person by name and ask a trusted leader for counsel.
One prayer
Prince of Peace, show me the part that depends on me, and give me the humility to take the first step.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Before a meeting or gathering, notice the question you bring: “What will I get out of this?” or “What can I add here?” Your answer can shape how you listen and what you offer.
Today’s teaching
Paul follows these verses with the story of Jesus, who was God and did not hold on to that for His own advantage, but made Himself nothing, took the form of a servant, and became obedient to death on a cross (Philippians 2:5–8). That is the pattern. Leadership in God’s kingdom starts with “How can I serve?”
Jesus told of a man beaten by robbers and left half dead on the road. A priest came by and passed on the other side. So did a Levite. Then a Samaritan came, a man from a people long at odds with Jesus’ listeners. He saw the wounded man and had compassion on him.
He bandaged his wounds, put him on his own animal, took him to an inn, and paid for his care. Jesus asked which of the three had been a neighbor to the man. Then He said, “Go and do likewise.”
In the church
It is easy to keep quiet score in relationships: who gives more, who says thank you more, who always shows up. Score-keeping turns service into a transaction, and slowly it makes us bitter.
Adding value is not the same as pleasing everyone or saying yes to everything. It means using the gifts God has given you for the good of others, including gifts you have left unused. People who make things better wherever they go tend to find doors opening, but that is not the reason to do it.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“Look to” means to keep your eyes on something and make it your focus.
A further biblical connection
The apostles poured themselves out for the churches without keeping score. Paul could write that he would gladly spend everything he had, and be spent himself, for the people he served (2 Corinthians 12:15).
Practice further
List a few ways you can consistently add value in your role: to your leaders, to the people you serve alongside, and to those you lead. Pray over the list and choose one habit to begin this week.
Talk it over
When you walk into a meeting or gathering, are you more tuned to your own needs or to the needs of others?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Think of the last meeting you walked into. What was the first thing you were hoping would happen?
The priest and the Levite passed by. What do you tend to pass by because it is not your job?
Who keeps score in your relationships? If it is you, what is the running total?
One way someone answered
I walk into our leaders' meeting hoping my idea gets picked. That is the honest first thought. The Samaritan stopped for a stranger on a road where two religious men had already walked past. I walk past the new volunteer who sits at the end of the table every week. Tomorrow I can ask what she needs before the agenda starts.
For your team: How could our team serve another ministry in our church this month?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
When you walk into a meeting or gathering, are you more tuned to your own needs or to the needs of others?
One action
In your next conversation, do one thing that clearly benefits the other person, such as encouragement, practical help, or careful listening, without expecting anything back.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If you are alone today, pray for one person by name and choose a small way to help them this week. One person, one small thing.
If you are alone today, pray for one person by name and choose a small way to help them this week.
One prayer
Jesus, You came to serve. Turn my attention from my own interests to the people around me, and let me add something good wherever I go today.
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
What does Paul say happened to his old life, and who lives in him now?
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
What does Paul say has happened to him with Christ, and what does he say about "I"?
Who lives in him now, and how does he say he lives the life he still has in the body?
One way someone answered
He has been crucified with Christ, so he no longer lives. Christ lives in him. The life he still lives in the body, he lives by faith in the Son of God who loved him and gave himself for him.
This path ends where all true leadership has to end: with a life that is no longer about me.
Today’s teaching
Paul had once trusted his record to make him right with God: his family line, his zeal, and his careful keeping of the law (Philippians 3:4–6). He never stopped being a Jew. But after he met Jesus, he trusted Christ instead of his record. He said the old self had been crucified with Christ, and that the life he now lived belonged to the Son of God, who loved him and gave Himself for him.
When Christ lives in you, your greatest joy is not being seen as the hero. It is seeing Christ formed in others (Galatians 4:19). You can fade from view and still flourish, because your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).
As the hour of His death came near, Jesus said, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” Then He said that anyone who serves Him must follow Him, and where He is, His servant will be too.
The seed disappears into the ground. What grows from it is far more than it could ever have been alone.
In the church
A church does not need leaders who are always at the center. It needs leaders who make room: who give away opportunities, share the platform, train the people who will one day replace them, and step back to support from the side.
The heart of it
Paul wrote this to people who were trying to earn God’s favor by keeping rules (Galatians 2:16, 21). No one can earn it by completing a study or mastering its practices. Our hope rests in Christ.
He died for our sins, and God raised Him from the dead. He forgives everyone who trusts Him, and He gives them new life by His Spirit. The practices in this study do not make you holy. They make room for the One who does.
If you have never trusted Him, you can today, in your own words. Tell Him you have sinned. Ask Him to forgive you. Tell Him you trust Him and want to follow Him. Then tell a pastor or a Christian friend.
Go Deeper
A word in the text
“I have been crucified” is in a tense that describes something that happened and still stands. Paul’s old life was not only interrupted. It was ended, and a new one began.
Practice further
Write a short “life statement” before God describing the legacy you want. Leave out titles. Describe the people you hope to leave behind, living for Jesus.
Talk it over
Where are you still holding on to control, credit, or visibility?
Need a nudge?
Try asking yourself
Of the three, control, credit, or visibility, which would be hardest to hand over this month?
Jesus said a seed has to go into the ground to produce more. Who would grow if you stepped out of the way?
Look back over the twenty days. Which one did you most want to skip? That may be where the spotlight is.
One way someone answered
Visibility. I could give up the final word before I could give up the pulpit. There is a young man who has preached twice, and both times I added a closing comment, as if the sermon needed me to finish it. Day 15 was the one I wanted to skip. The seed goes into the ground and disappears. I am not glad about that yet. Next Sunday I can let him close, and sit down.
For your team: Who is our team raising up to take our place?
Add a note
Day Anchor
One question
Where are you still holding on to control, credit, or visibility?
One action
Do one concrete thing today that gives someone else the opportunity, the platform, or the honor, while you step back and support them from the side.
Add a noteNeed a nudge?
Try asking yourself
If no opportunity comes today, ask God to show you one this week and write down the name of the person you will make room for. Stepping back makes room for others. It does not erase you.
If no opportunity comes today, ask God to show you one this week, and name the person you will make room for.
One prayer
Lord Jesus, I have been crucified with You. Live in me. Take the spotlight, and let my life point people to You.
When the spotlight belongs to Jesus, you no longer have to be the hero.
How to use these twenty days
20 days · 5 minutes or more a day. If you miss a day, continue from the day you missed. Practical notes are at the end of this page.
Welcome
My name is J. A. Tomlinson. I wrote this study for people who lead and serve: pastors, elders, small-group leaders, ministry volunteers, and parents who lead at home. You can begin here without having done the Journey or D.I.A.L. Community.
What formation means
Most of us know what a good leader should do. The trouble is doing it when we are tired, criticized, hurried, or afraid. What we do then depends less on what we know than on who we have become. That is what formation means: the slow work of God shaping a person until Christ can be seen in them (Galatians 4:19).
The five pillars
The twenty days follow five pillars, four days each. The map on the study page shows where you are.
Foundation · Days 1–4: Listening, words, humility, and motives.
Frame · Days 5–8: A renewed mind, composure, self-control, and rest.
Core · Days 9–12: Patience, honesty with yourself, faithfulness, and correction.
Beam · Days 13–16: Ownership, calm, ego, and counsel.
Capstone · Days 17–20: Believing the best, peace, service, and surrender.
Where this study comes from
These twenty days adapt the Church track of the 20-Day Journey from Global Mission Support, which grew out of my 49-Day Journey. Each principle has been rewritten as a standalone Bible study.
If you are not sure what you believe
Read it anyway. Every day is grounded in Scripture and in the life of Jesus. Pray the prayers as honestly as you can, even if they begin with “If You are there.” The last day explains why the path ends with Christ.
A word about safety
Some days ask you to welcome correction, believe the best about people, or pursue peace. None of that means staying silent about harm or staying close to someone who is hurting you. If someone is being abused, or a child or vulnerable adult may be at risk, tell a leader you trust and report it to the proper authorities. If pressure is affecting your sleep, your health, or your ability to work, talk to a doctor or a counselor. This study is not a substitute for pastoral, counseling, or medical care.
Practical notes
One day at a time
Begin with the Scripture and its observation question. Read the opening thought and today’s teaching, with Jesus alongside you in the Gospels. Then sit with one personal question in “Talk it over.” The Day Anchor repeats that same question and gives you one action, a smaller option for a hard day, and a prayer.
Go Deeper is optional. If you have only five minutes, read the verse and use the Day Anchor. You can return to the rest later.
If you miss a day
Continue from the day you missed. You do not need to catch up, and you do not need to do two days in one. Formation is slow on purpose, and guilt is not a spiritual discipline.
If you do this with a group
This study works well for a leadership team, an elder board, or a group of ministry leaders. Read each day on your own, then meet once a week to talk about one pillar, four days at a time. Each day’s “Talk it over” includes one question for your team. Anyone may pass on any question. If a pastor or senior leader is in the room, they should answer first and listen most. Never use a team question to correct one person. Do not press people to share private struggles, and keep what is shared in confidence. Confidence has one limit: if someone may be in danger, help them reach a pastor, a doctor, or emergency services. If the concern is about a leader, go to someone outside that leader’s authority.
About the Bible text
The verse at the top of each day is quoted from the New International Version (NIV). The Gospel passages are retold in plain words. The Bible links open the NIV online, which needs an internet connection.
Keeping your reflections
Your reflections stay in this browser. In “My reflections,” choose “Download a backup” for a restorable copy or “Export reflections as text” for a readable copy. Keep a backup before clearing browser data or changing devices.
After the twenty days
Before you go on
Formation is not finished in twenty days. You do not need to carry all twenty practices at once. Return to the day that needs more time, and choose one practice to keep.
Your closing anchor
One question: Which one practice will you keep for the next ninety days?
One action: Choose one practice to keep for ninety days. Tell one trusted person, and agree when you will check in.
One prayer: Lord, finish what You have started in me. Form Christ in me, and make me someone others can lean on because I am leaning on You.
Practices do not make you holy. They make room for the One who does. Keep one practice, and let God keep forming you.
Your next study
These twenty days looked at the person who carries the weight. Tired Hands looks at how the weight is arranged around that person: roles, rhythms, and the people who hold up tired hands. Good people can break inside bad structures, and good structures cannot replace a formed heart. You need both.
D.I.A.L. Community is a free self-assessment from Global Mission Support for churches, nonprofits, and lodges. It looks at how you lead and the structure you lead within. It is directional and nonclinical. It is not a validated instrument or a personality test, and its results are a starting point for reflection, never a verdict.
If you need to receive care before you carry anything else, Anxious Sheep, Faithful Shepherd spends seven days in Psalm 23. The Cross of Selfless Leadership spends ten days in the Ten Commandments for people who lead others. God’s Cosmic Calendar spends fourteen days on God’s timing, rest, and hope. From Aleph to Tav spends twenty-two days in Revelation, for people who have been afraid of the last book of the Bible.
Adapted by J. A. Tomlinson from the 49-Day Journey, through the Church track of the 20-Day Journey from Global Mission Support. The Load-Bearing Leadership System, LBLS, Dual Integrity Model, and related framework language are part of the Load-Bearing Leadership System intellectual property.
